


don't count your crows (before they hatch)

by lavendori



Series: tsukishima's birthday [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bad Humor, First years as third years, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Tsukishima Kei’s Birthday, birthday fic, but lowkey shippy moments for tsukki and every first year combo, tsukki gets tortured on his birthday again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 21:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20785418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavendori/pseuds/lavendori
Summary: Hinata and Yamguchi instill a horrible birthday tradition.“We’ll all do it for your birthday next year too!” Hinata adds.Kei shudders at the idea. “Even more reason not to participate.”





	don't count your crows (before they hatch)

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR FAVORITE MOONBEAM TSUKISHIMA KEI!!!
> 
> since i love my boy so much i couldn't Not write another fic for him so i decided to make this a whole series, starting from the fic i wrote for his bday last year :) i just love to torment my faves. prequel of that fic can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16108757) but is not mandatory reading for the purposes of this new fic
> 
> enjoy!!

The tradition started with Kageyama’s seventeenth birthday.

Of course Hinata and Yamaguchi are the ones behind it all. After the fiasco the team had put Kei through for his own birthday a few months prior and a reasonably pleasant outing they held for Yamaguchi’s, the two of them thought it would be a great idea to foster more “fun and team bonding” by celebrating each other’s birthdays with “words of affirmation” — some silly American ideal they’d picked up in some sociology book, no doubt. Whatever it was, based on the sheer sound of it, Kei had known immediately that he’d want no part of it.

Unfortunately for him, they had decided (and wisely so on their part) not to tell Kei what they were up to the first time they implemented this stupid practice. Indeed, when Kageyama’s birthday came around, Kei had gone with them to Sakanoshita without any prior knowledge of their plans, unaware of the horror that had awaited him when they bought a round of pork buns and sat down outside of the store.

As is often the case when Hinata talks, Kei zones out and scrolls through his phone while nibbling away at his snack. He reads news articles, gets sucked into a long one about dinosaur research, and is well into a video game when Hinata’s voice shakes him out of deep focus.

“Tsukishima, it’s your turn,” he says.

Kei looks up and stares at him blankly.

“I’m sorry, I lost interest about twenty minutes ago,” he replies before returning to his game. The rest of his teammates fall silent and it takes him a few seconds to realize they’re waiting for him to ask what it’s his turn for.

“That’s all I was going to say,” he adds without looking up. His fingers are occupied with tapping the phone screen as he’s close to beating his high score.

Without warning, a hand shoots out and snatches his phone out from his grip. Kei squawks and rounds on Hinata.

“What the hell?!”

He reaches for his phone, his long arms extending far past Hinata’s entire upper body in one fell swoop, but before he can grab his device, Hinata slips it into Yamaguchi’s hands.

“C’mon, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi appeases as he stuffs Kei’s phone into his own pocket. “Be a good sport.”

“Why,” Kei deadpans.

“Because it’s Kageyama’s birthday and, not to mention, the holiday season!” Hinata says.

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi agrees. “It’s the one time of year you could be a little more charitable!”

“That’s a stupid reason,” Kei says.

“No, it’s not!” Hinata proclaims, as if by saying so he can convince Kei to believe it. “Now tell Kageyama something nice about him!”

“Why…” Kei repeats.

“Because it’s your _turn _!” Hinata explains like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “We agreed we were going to give each other words of affirmation on our birthdays!”

“_ ‘Affirmation’ _? Wha—?” Kei scowls. “I didn’t agree to this.”

“You agreed by coming so it’s too late to turn back now!” Hinata insists. “Just say at least one thing you appreciate about Kageyama, that’s all. Just _one _thing.”

Yachi gives an apologetic laugh and rubs the back of her head. “If you say something simple and easy, you can get it out of the way faster.”

“It’s just the bare minimum, Tsukki.”

Pursing his lips, Kei shifts his gaze over to their setter. Surely, the King doesn’t buy this nonsense either. Kageyama, however, stares expectantly up at him as he shoves his last bite of his pork curry bun into his mouth.

“We’ll all do it for your birthday next year too!” Hinata adds.

Kei shudders at the idea. “Even more reason not to participate.”

“Okay fine maybe we won’t,” Hinata amends.

“Oh, so I’m exempt,” Kei says.

“Nope!” Hinata grins, nudging him with his pointy elbow.

Kei groans. “If I say just one thing, will you give me back my phone and leave me alone?”

“Yes,” they all say in unison.

“Fine.” Kei looks back at Kageyama, seething inside. What the hell is he supposed to say to the King?

In the end, he mumbles a half-assed statement about how creepily sharp his setting is, putting emphasis the fact that it’s extremely creepy. Fortunately, it’s a passable compliment in their eyes (the benefits of setting low expectations for kind behavior) and Yamaguchi gives him his phone back.

Which brings him to his predicament now.

Kei absolutely despises feel-good traditions designed to garner positive sentiments he would rather not feel. This new one they’ve invented ticks all the boxes. The only good thing so far is that none of them have had birthdays for the entire first half of the next year until Hinata’s, where Kei was forced once again against his will to say something nice about their wild beast. He doesn’t know what they expect from him. It’s preposterous that they even still try.

(Yachi’s birthday, however, was a different matter, because she happens to be an outlier who deserves nice things. But that’s beside the point.)

Once Yachi’s birthday was over, Kei knew it was only a matter of time.

So when he receives a text from Hinata an entire week before his birthday, right as he’s about to go to sleep, his fight or flight instincts kick in at once.

Flight comes in first: Kei’s finger hovers over the delete button, ready to trash the message before he can even bother to read it.

A second layer of flight comes in second: If he deletes it, he may forfeit potentially vital information about their plans, and having less knowledge means having less understanding and preparation of how to protect himself.

(Then again, he doubts anything Hinata says is “vital,” and the less he knows surrounding Hinata as a person, the better his life will be.)

Unbidden, a third instinct unrelated to fight or flight creeps into his periphery: morbid curiosity. Why is he texting a week early? Just how deep does Hinata’s intent to torture Kei run? Do they really expect Kei to go along with their ridiculous ceremony? And if they do, how will they manage to pull this off?

_Don’t look at it; ignore it._

But the temptation is too great. Picking up his phone, Kei swipes through to view the message.

_I'm giving you a headstart! You can run but ya can't hide ^ω^_

_Yachi even made you a neat countdown! Isn’t she so cool?_

Below is a link that Kei can’t help but click. The second he does, it prompts a new page to pop up on safari where, in unnecessarily pretty font, is indeed a countdown.

_~TSUKISHIMA KEI’S BIRTHDAY!~ __  
_6 DAYS : 10 HOURS : 42 MIN : # SEC

There are decorative cakes and balloons drawn around the title and the last number drops by one every second. Kei scoffs and closes out of the page.

Tossing his phone onto his pillow, he turns off the lights and get into bed. Assuring himself that there is no way they can trick him into any private group outings among them this week, he pulls the blankets up to his neck and settles in. All he has to do is avoid his teammates at all costs, especially when they’re in a group. It shouldn’t be too difficult. And besides, his birthday is on a Sunday this year. He doesn’t even have to leave the house.

With that comforting thought in mind, he closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep.

🦕🦕🦕

Monday morning passes without any incidents or texts. Yamaguchi says nothing, simply smiles at him when Kei walks in to class. So far, it’s okay.

When the lunch bell rings, Kei leaves without his friend, checking behind him every so often as he heads towards the food lines. If so much as a _hint _of orange flashes through his vision, Kei will be booking it, stat.

Fortunately, he finds himself at the end of the lunch line with no teammates in sight and no sign of an ambush. Turning to face the back of the person in front of him, he lets out a long exhale.

“Hi,” a deep voice says suddenly to his left.

Kei jumps away and throws his arms up over his face. When he peeks through the space between his elbows, he sees none other than Kageyama standing there next to him with a milk carton in his hand, eyes wide with genuine confusion at Kei’s sudden and severe reaction.

“I was just saying hi,” he grunts, looking calm and neutral as if Kei is the one who is being strange. Since when has the King ever voluntarily said hi to Kei?

Narrowing his eyes, Kei scrutinizes him suspiciously but doesn’t leave the line. He has to buy his food after all.

For the first few seconds, Kageyama stays quiet. A minute passes. Then another.

Just as Kei starts to think he might be safe and that this will turn out to be a perfectly normal, passing interaction, Kageyama opens his mouth.

“You—” his lips tighten and his cheeks seem to inflate, as though it is costing him every ounce of effort to say what he needs to say. “You set… good.”

“Hah??”

“Especially given that you don’t consider yourself a setter,” he adds in a low mutter. “Although — that doesn’t… doesn’t really matter. And you’re still much better at blocking… even than I am. But, your form—”

“Save it,” Kei interrupts, rubbing at his temple. He’s already had enough of this. “You don’t have to try so hard, King, you’ll give yourself an aneurysm.”

Kageyama opens his mouth, then closes it.

“Okay,” he agrees easily. “Well. I did it.”

“Whatever this is, you most certainly did not,” Kei says. He pauses. “Actually you overdid it. You definitely overdid it.”

Kageyama cocks his head, his eyes widening in concern. “Is that bad?”

“This conversation is over,” Kei seethes through gritted teeth. He moves forward in line, aggressively bumping Kageyama’s shoulder as he goes.

Kageyama shrugs and takes a step back from the lunch line. After a long sip from his milk carton, he lowers his straw and utters Kei’s most dreaded and cursed words aloud.

“Happy almost birthday.”

Kei nearly shushes him — they’re in _public _and in front of classmates for crying out loud — but before he can give the King a proper scolding, His Royal Highness smirks, turns on his heel, and marches away.

Kei lets out a sigh of relief but his mood remains soured. With a permanent scowl etched onto his face, he begrudgingly orders his food and hurries off to his classroom where he hopes he’ll be safe from the rest of the team.

🦕🦕🦕

(9:56 PM) From: the wild beast  
_:D_

(05:29 AM) From: the wild beast  
_:3c_

🦕🦕🦕

Today’s morning practice might just be one of the most stressful ones Kei has ever had.

The tricky thing about their ominous countdown page and Kageyama’s sudden and horrifying attempt at ‘words of affirmation’ is that Kei has no idea what to expect next. Given what they’d done to him the previous year, they’ve seemed to have picked up his distaste for the unknown and are eager to capitalize on it. (Regrettably, Kei has definitely spent far too much time with them over the past two and a half years, really.)

_One down… three to go, _Kei thinks miserably in his mind as he walks onto campus.

After he changes, he treads carefully into the gym.

As he discovers, however, the whole team turns out to be focused on their own work. No one on the court bats an eye at him. Of course, none of this offers any reason for him to drop his guard. Staying alert, he walks in and tries to blend in with the usual sounds of sneakers squeaking and balls dropping.

His fellow third years are scattered throughout the gym; there doesn’t seem to be a pattern here, but when it comes to someone as sporadic as the chaotic duo, or as eager and earnest as his best friend and club manager, who really knows?

The imminent birthday attacks continue to plague him. Throughout practice, whenever one of the four comes near him, he’d flinch and look the other direction. Every time he does this, they’d stare back at him like he is the one being weird. It’s truly getting so old.

By the end of practice, nothing happens. They change, pack up their belongings, and head to class.

Regardless of this, Kei still remains alert for any sign of orange hair throughout the day, because Hinata is the easiest to spot and the most insufferable one. Although he does see him a few times in and out of class, Kei manages to dodge out of his sight and continue on his way.

It’s suspiciously quiet today. Yamaguchi has left him to his own devices and been elsewhere during breaks and lunch. And that’s just as well — the sooner Kei can get through afternoon practice and go home, the better.

Once the bell rings to signal the end of the school day, he picks up his bag and heads straight for his shoe locker.

When he arrives in front of his cubby, Yamaguchi is still nowhere to be seen. He looks around behind him. Neither is Hinata.

Suspicious.

Doing his best to put it from his mind, he pulls open his shoe locker, reaches in to grab his sneakers, and stops.

There, on top of his pair of gym shoes, lays a light, baby blue envelope.

Kei frowns at it. He hopes to God it’s not another love letter. Honestly, the whole notion of confessions via airdropping a shoe locker is so saccharine and overly sentimental, and he usually ends up trying to avoid the whole fiasco by pretending he’s never seen it. (Not that it happens that often. But still.)

With a sigh, he gingerly picks up the letter and is about to set it aside when, at the slight shift of his hand, a familiar scribble of loopy handwriting catches his eye.

He pauses with his fingers on the corner and frowns. This could be a trick.

Craning his neck, he checks around him again to make sure no one is here to witness Kei open a possibly incriminating letter, then pulls it out and rips the envelope open.

_Dear Tsukishima-kun!_

The writing is neat and tiny and can only belong to one person. Sure enough, when Kei glances down at the signature, he sees Yachi’s name signing off. With a sigh of relief, he grabs his shoes, changes them, and hurries out of the locker room to find a secluded area so he can read the rest.

_Happy birthday!_

_I figured this would be the least intrusive way to say something appreciative about you, and hopefully you’ll appreciate that more too. Besides, I often find it’s much easier for me to write out my thoughts like this anyway. (Unless… that makes you hate it all the more?! Oh no, what have I done! _ <strike>_Please just _</strike> _<strike>I understand if</strike> _ _<strike>Gah!</strike> Well, if you end up hating this feel free to destroy the letter or tear it to shreds!! _ _<strike>I’m so sorr</strike> _ _I won’t be offended, I swear!)_

_Um, anyway… if you’re still reading, here it goes._

_When I met all four of you, I knew right away that you are a smart and talented guy. I’m sure this kind of thing doesn’t need to be said but as we start to move closer and closer to graduation, I can’t help but think how nice it is that we have the opportunity now to say these things if we can. Too often, people go through life without ever saying how they feel, even if it’s just something as simple as ‘I like that t-shirt you always wear’ between two friends. Time really does fly so it would be a shame if we treated these types of everyday mundane things as things not worth mentioning so bear with me just a bit longer!_

_In all seriousness though, I’m really so, so glad and grateful to have met you guys. For my entire life up until I joined the club, I never thought I’d ever have an experience like this. Although we may not be the _best _of friends, I still consider you someone close and in my immediate sphere that has, by now, become such an integral part of my day to day life. (Eep! Was that too much? _<strike>_Sorry _</strike>_) All that to say: we’re third years now and we’ve been through a lot and at this point, I really can’t imagine not seeing you guys everyday. You've all become such a huge part of my world and I’m so thankful that you of all people allowed me to occupy a little bit of yours! :)_

_Ah gosh, I should stop before this gets too long! You probably wouldn’t want such a long sentimental letter. I honestly didn’t expect to be so long winded but I guess I had a lot to say! (Also, now that I’m nearing the bottom of the page, I’m realizing I don’t know how to end this naturally.. heh.) I guess I’ll just leave you with this: you’re a cool guy, Tsukishima-kun, and even if you pretend not to care about people, I know deep down you’re a good person. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you and all your unique quirks. You’re an interesting fellow. I wish you the best of luck with entrance exams and applications! (Haha what is this… a yearbook? Silly me…) Anyway…_

_Happy birthday! I’ll see you at practice! :)_

_Sincerely,_

_Yachi Hitoka_

(When Kei gets to the gym, he walks up behind Yachi and pats her on the head. She freaks out, of course, but Kei manages to slip in a muttered _Thanks _before stalking past her nonetheless.)

🦕🦕🦕

Besides receiving Yachi’s letter, Kei successfully avoids any other sort of interaction with his teammates for the next two days. Most likely sensing that he’s been making himself scarce, Yamaguchi doesn’t bother trying to walk to or from school with him.

Until Friday.

On Friday, the moment Kei steps out of his house, Yamaguchi is at the door with a mischievous smile.

When Kei sees him, he stops on the front step and lets out a sigh.

“Okay. Let’s get this over with.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yamaguchi says, feigning innocence as he turns and leads the way out of Kei’s front yard.

_Well, _Kei thinks as he follows him out onto the path towards school, _if you’re not going to bring it up…_

The autumn air outside is finally starting to get cold. A light breeze blows past them, ruffling the collar of Kei’s uniform as it grazes his skin. The weather has finally hit a sweet spot — that perfect medium between warm and chilly.

They’re just passing the rice paddy fields when Yamaguchi finally speaks up.

“Entrance exams are coming up,” he says, looking up at cloudy gray skies above them with a frown. “Everything’s getting more real.”

Kei raises an eyebrow at him. “If you’re going to get all sentimental on me even without you and Hinata’s weird traditions, then what’s the point?”

Yamaguchi chuckles. “You know I’d talk to you about this stuff even if your birthday wasn’t coming up.”

Kei cringes. He’s said _the word._

“Right, exactly,” he mumbles. “Whatever. Continue.”

“Are you still planning to apply for universities in Tokyo?” Yamaguchi asks.

“Mm, yeah.”

“I’ll visit a lot!” Yamaguchi promises.

“Relax, we still have a few months before we take the exams, let alone get into school,” Kei says. _I’m still around, _he doesn’t say. “Maybe I won’t even get in anywhere.”

Yamaguchi lets out an appalled gasp. “No way, Tsukki, you’ll get into all the top universities! You’re the smartest person I know.”

“I highly doubt that,” he mutters. “I’m not even the top student in our year.”

Yamaguchi gives him a wry smile. “You’re like, number three, _and _on the volleyball team.”

“More like number five,” Kei shrugs. _There’s always someone better. _“There's nothing that special about it.”

“Okay, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says, rolling his eyes. “Number five out of what? Two hundred plus people in our grade? I’m sure you’ll get in somewhere good. You know, I can really picture you in Tokyo. Although maybe you’ll end up fitting into the city so well you’ll forget all about Miyagi.”

Kei frowns. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No… not bad,” Yamaguchi replies with a wistful sigh. “Just sad.”

His friend lapses into a silence that very soon becomes uncomfortable for Kei. Struggling to fill the space, he stammers, “You — you said you’ll visit though, so it’s not as though we won’t see each other.”

“Well, yeah…” Yamaguchi acknowledges. “But it’s not the same as being less than a ten minute walk from your house.”

Kei purses his lips. That wistfulness Yamaguchi mentioned rises and starts to grip him somewhere inside his chest and he’s not prepared to let the feeling take over. It’s a problem for future him to think about, not now. He casts about for something to say — anything to steer the conversation elsewhere — but his stomach keeps twisting itself into a knot.

“Ah, listen to me,” Yamaguchi chuckles, shaking his head. “Sorry, Tsukki, I didn’t mean to bring the mood down so much.”

The corner of Kei’s lips twitches. “You could solve this problem by applying to schools in Tokyo too.”

“I did consider it…” he says thoughtfully. “I’m not as keen to get out of here as you are though.”

“Apply anyway,” Kei insists, looking determinedly at the ground. “Leaving home for a temporary time can be a good thing.”

Yamaguchi sighs again. “Yeah, who knows? Maybe I will.”

As they near the school and the time for walking conversations starts to dwindle away, Kei wonders if Yamaguchi of all people really would skip this whole affirmation thing just for Kei’s sake. Either that, or he’ll spring a nasty surprise on him later when Kei least expects it. Regardless, he doesn’t want to prompt anything accidentally so he keeps quiet as they walk through the front gates.

Nothing else happens as they traipse through campus. They make it through the hallways and get to the door of the classroom when Yamaguchi turns and claps him on the back.

“Happy early, Tsukki,” he chirps before walking in and taking a seat.

Horrified, Kei twists his neck, trying to see his back, if maybe Yamaguchi had slapped anything unwanted onto his uniform or other—

He looks up when Yamaguchi laughs from his seat.

“Relax, Tsukki, there are no tricks here,” he assures, a grin lighting up his face.

Nose wrinkling, he walks over and sits down behind Yamaguchi with a sour expression on his face.

“What did you just do,” Kei says in the most dangerous voice he can muster.

Yamaguchi turns around in his seat and beams. “Nothing out of the ordinary!”

Kei raises an eyebrow. “This isn’t some secret scheme of yours and Hinata’s ‘words of affirmation’ thing?”

“Well if you really want me to spell it out…”

“I don’t—”

“For me,” Yamaguchi plows on anyway. “When it comes to affirming you with words, I just don’t think they need to be said.”

“Oh my god,” Kei whispers, holding his head in his hands. To his horror, the posture simply eggs Yamaguchi to continue on.

“I’ve seen you almost everyday since we were in elementary school. Anything positive I want to say about you, you’ve most likely already heard. Our whole friendship is one gigantic sign of affirmation. And at this point, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

He finishes with a smug smile, leaving Kei to hide his face behind his palms in the guise of an exasperated facepalm.

“Shut up. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Sorry, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi sticks his tongue out before turning back around in his seat.

Kei opens an eye a peek to look out between his fingers. Once he’s sure Yamaguchi is really facing the front of the classroom, he lets the corners of his lips pull into a small smile.

🦕🦕🦕

_~TSUKISHIMA KEI’S BIRTHDAY!~ __  
_1 DAYS : 23 HOURS : 52 MIN : # SEC

🦕🦕🦕

To Kei’s dismay, Hinata has been sending the link to the countdown every single day of the week without fail. Also to Kei’s dismay, he’s been clicking on them out of morbid curiosity. He probably goes through an inadvisable amount of dissociation every time he does it, but he also can’t just let it sit there when there might be a clue or hint. Maybe.

It’s definitely not because it’s his last birthday of high school and he’s getting oddly sentimental about it. Not one bit.

After a week of surprises varying in degrees of suffering, Hinata is the only one left. Although Kei is glad it’s almost over, he’s also hesitant to give in to relief. After all, Hinata is the worst out of all of them when it comes to the territory of good feelings.

Unfortunately, they have Saturday practice today, which means they’ll be forced to see each other, but the reward is being able to spend his birthday the next day away from everyone in peace. He just has to get through a couple hours of torment.

If there’s one thing that unnerves him most about Hinata, it’s his presence. It’s the one he brings out when facing opponents, when he’s fired up from adrenaline and the excitement of volleyball is emblazoned on his skin, arms raised behind his back, poised to fly. There’s an inexplicable quality about how simultaneously inspiring and terrifying it is that Kei will never understand. Worser still, when it happens, there’s nothing Kei can do to evade it.

He’s in the locker room putting his bag away when he feels it: a familiar prickling sensation ghosting across his skin where all the tiny hairs on the back of his neck sticks up. His spine lengthens as he lifts his head up, alert. A dangerous energy lurks behind him.

“Good morning, Tsukishima!”

The movement is fast. One second Hinata is behind him and in the next, a blur of orange is swooping before him, wide smile and crinkly eyes unreasonably high up above him.

Kei recoils at once. “Sorry, this is a club room for high school aged kids only.”

Hinata comes back down from his big jump and laughs.

“You’re so funny, Tsukishima-kun! And don’t worry,” he adds with a fiendish grin at the look on Kei’s face. “I’m not going to bite.”

“You saying that out loud really fills me with so much confidence,” Kei says sarcastically. “Just — don’t speak to me for the rest of the day.”

“Mean!” Hinata accuses, then sticks his tongue out. Again, he’s supposed to be high school aged. Turning around, he skips out the door singing, “Practice time, practice time!”

With a great roll of his eyes, Kei grabs his towel and water bottle and follows suit.

Practice goes without anything out of the ordinary happening. Suspicious as ever, Kei avoids Hinata anyway, because with an uncontrollable wild beast such as him, he really never knows. Indeed, throughout their entire time on the court, he swears he feels Hinata’s presence looming over him from behind like a bird of prey, but whenever Kei turns around, wary of any sign of him, the other boy is always on the other side of the gym, practicing spikes with Kageyama.

It’s unnerving, to say the least. Miraculously though, they make it through to the end without incident. The team heads back to the lockers to change while talking amongst themselves about going to Sakanoshita for lunch, which works out perfectly for Kei because he now knows exactly where to avoid. He dawdles around, taking his sweet time changing out of his gym clothes back into his normal ones and stalling more while everyone else finishes up and files out.

At long last, he’s alone in the club room. Grabbing his bag, he slowly makes his way to the door and pushes it open a crack. Once he’s sure the coast is clear, he slips out and slinks down the stairs towards freedom.

He barely makes it off the first step when he turns the corner and is assaulted with a flash of orange filling his vision.

“Hello!”

Kei yelps and leaps back, heart rate skyrocketing in his chest as he throws his arms up instinctively in defense.

“What — the _hell _, Hinata?!” he yells, breathing hard. When he lowers his arms, he sees Hinata simply standing there peering up at him, an impish smile curling his lips. “Why are you even still here?”

“‘Cause I was waiting for you!” he says. From behind he pulls out a rectangular-shaped item wrapped in his usual pale green handkerchief. “Today, your lunch is on _me _!”

Kei eyes the supposed bento box suspiciously. “_ You _made that?”

Hinata puffs his cheeks, effectively ruffled. “Rude! You don’t think I can cook? And what’s with that expression?! You’re hurting my feelings!”

Kei purses his lips. “I don’t need lunch.”

“Too bad,” Hinata says, pushing the bento box into his hands. “You’ll love it, I promise.”

Kei gives him a skeptical look. Hinata making promises has never been, well, _promising _.

“C’mon, Tsukki!”

A vein throbs in his temple.

“Call me that again,” he dares, voice low and dangerous.

Hinata laughs. Sidestepping behind him, he nudges Kei forward and guides him to the nearest bench beneath the shade.

Once there, he pushes Kei into the seat and sits down next to him, buzzing with expectation.

With a sigh, Kei eventually caves. Pulling on the bow of the handkerchief, he undoes the knot and opens the lunch box.

The pleasant smell of eggs and an assortment of meat reach his nostrils first. Mouth watering against his will, he turns over the lid, revealing a slightly sloppy (but admittedly cute) depiction of Kei’s own face made from what looks like a creative preschooler’s attempt at assembling food art. Little pieces of nori are placed in a square shape for Kei’s glasses and a tiny cut out of cooked egg yolk makes up his hair. His arms, arranged using flat pieces of ham, are raised above his head in a blocking motion, where a thin narutomaki piece representing a volleyball touches. The whole thing is both dumb and endearing at the same time.

Hinata’s bright eyes and wide grin hovers over the meal. Kei has to press his lips together to stop himself from smiling.

“It looks okay,” he mutters, keeping his voice low in an attempt to prevent it from cracking.

Hinata beams, his pearly white teeth as blinding as his expression. “Enjoy!” 

“No,” Kei says, looking back down at his lunch. “I’m not eating what you made.”

“Okay, okay… my okaasan helped me a little,” Hinata admits. “... A lot, actually. So the food itself is good, I promise!”

_That’s not what I meant, _Kei thinks, but he will never be able to bring himself to tell him that he thinks this bento box is a masterpiece.

“Well,” Hinata says, pulling out his own bento box and opening the lid. “I’m not leaving until you eat.”

And with that, he starts shoveling food into his own mouth from his normal looking lunch while keeping his eyes open and trained on Kei, alert for any new reaction.

“You’re being so creepy,” Kei comments, before looking down at his food. Taking the accompanying chopsticks out from the bento box, he digs the points straight into his food-art self’s forehead.

The first bite is admittedly very good. As Kei chews, Hinata lifts his head and looks expectantly up at him.

“It tastes terrible,” Kei says after swallowing his bite. Lowering his hand, he dips his chopsticks back in to scoop up another. “Can’t stand it at all.”

“Ha!” Hinata proclaims through a mouth full of food. After swallowing, he adds, “You can’t lie to me! I’ve watched you eat like, _so _many times. I can tell you like it!”

“You are literally so creepy,” Kei mumbles, turning away and shoveling more food into his mouth. Hinata flashes him a satisfied smirk.

Kei glances down at the shorter boy from the corner of his eye and adds, “At least this means your tactics are all over.”

Hinata laughs and tilts his head back. “Yup!”

Needless to say, Hinata finishes his lunch within the next five minutes. Kei has only just decimated the food version of his entire head before moving onto the side vegetables at the corner of the dish. Packing up his containers, Hinata rests his chin in his hands and continues to stare at Kei.

“Are you going to do that the whole time?” Kei asks, pausing with his chopsticks in midair.

“So what if I do?” Hinata frowns. “I have to make sure you eat the _whooooole _thing!”

Kei lifts his chopsticks even more slowly towards his mouth. Hinata, however, isn’t the slightest bit fazed.

“We’re going to be here for a while then,” Kei warns.

Hinata scooches closer and continues to stare up at him.

“Don’t worry,” he beams. “I’m just gonna affirm you starting now, and I have _all _the time in the world to do it.”

“Aren’t I lucky,” Kei deadpans.

But even as Hinata starts rambling on and on about how intelligent he thinks Kei is and how great he is at being a middle blocker, Kei purposely slows down and takes his sweet time eating.

🦕🦕🦕

Kei wakes the morning of his birthday feeling completely at peace. Without practice, there’s no one here to bother him and his teammates must have exhausted their birthday plans by now. In this stage of fall, the sun is streaming in at just the right angle at this time of day and the air wraps around him at just the right temperature. It’s quiet and pleasant; contentment seeps in and envelops him.

Turning over in his bed, he snuggles deeper into his blankets and relishes in the silence.

Before he can drift back off to sleep however, Kei hears a faint tapping sound on glass. Figuring it’s just a result of the light breeze outside, he ignores it and turns back around until his back faces the window.

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap. Tap._

Kei’s eyes snap open. Rubbing his eyes, he trains his ears to focus on the sound.

_Tap._

He sighs. It definitely isn’t his imagination. Something is scraping at his windows.

Pushing himself up into a seated position, he grabs his glasses by the bedside table, puts them on, then leans over just enough to be able to peek out of his blinds.

A tiny pebble taps his window once more. Kei scowls and squints down at his front yard.

Four heads stare back up at him, Hinata’s orange sticking out like a sore thumb.

“Oh, for crying out loud…”

Grabbing a light cardigan, he pulls the article of clothing on as he hurries down the stairs, ready to give his teammates a piece of his mind.

When he reaches the floor of his genkan, he slides the front door open and storms outside.

“Don’t say it,” he says automatically before the others can even take a breath. “I only came down here to stop you from demolishing my house. Now that I’ve done that, please leave.”

Hinata throws his head back and groans. “Don’t be so _dramatic _, Tsukishima. It was just a pebble!”

“More like ten,” Kei corrects. “I thought you guys were done with this whole thing.”

The four of them grin at each other, looking delighted that Kei is reacting exactly how they’d expected.

“We didn’t want to let you go through your birthday without a cake,” Yamaguchi beams, holding out a bakery box to him and opening the lid. It’s strawberry shortcake as usual, but this time, a green brontosaurus candle sits neatly upon its surface. It’s… extremely cute. As Kei stares down at it, a treacherous lump starts to form in his throat.

“You’re all the worst,” he says, horrified to hear his own voice crack at the last word. The sound doesn’t slip past Yachi, who giggles nervously, nor Kageyama, who smirks. “If you guys do this every year, it'll get old really fast.”

“Tsukki, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi chuckles, shaking his head. “We’ve all known you for more than two years now. You can’t fool us. You love this.”

Pursing his lips, Kei looks away from them all. “Well, if you’re expecting some sort of appreciative fanfare, it’s not going to happen. Also, Yamaguchi is the last birthday of this cycle. I’m not affirming you two years in a row, King.”

“Fine by me,” Kageyama shrugs. Then with another smirk, he adds, “You don’t have to try so hard, right?”

Kei scowls. Trust the King to throw his own words right back at him.

Hinata pulls out a dinosaur party hat from nowhere and grins mischievously at Kei. “Now you have to wear this and let us sing you the happy birthday song!”

“Wha — No! —_ get away from me!_” Kei seethes as he steps out of the way to avoid a jumping Hinata trying to dive for his head. Unfortunately, in his hurry, Kei bumps straight into Kageyama, who grabs him from behind and holds him hostage. Flailing his arms, Kei squirms and struggles against the King but to no avail; the sad truth is that Kageyama is and will most likely always be much stronger than him. In the next second, Hinata sticks the hat over him, letting the elastic string snap taut around his chin.

Conceding defeat, Kei slumps in Kageyama’s arms with a resigned grumble as the rest of them sing happy birthday to him.

It isn’t the worst.

Of course, the raucous tips off Kei’s mother, who comes outside and invites them all in so they can eat the cake together. Although it’s not exactly the peaceful birthday he’s imagined, with his four teammates gathered around him, laughing and celebrating at his expense, Kei has to admit, however begrudgingly, that he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> if you would like to come say hello or scream about hq with me, i can be found at [tumblr](https://lavendori.tumblr.com) and/or [twitter](https://twitter.com/lavendori)!


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